"Let's spread out - we can do more damage that way"
"Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back."
"We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!"
"If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail - peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm *right*, and we *can* stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters."
"Don’t sell yourself short Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch." - Ty Webb
"You buy a hat like this, I bet you get a free bowl of soup." - Al Czervik
"This is your wife, huh? Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity." - Al Czervik
"Whoa, did somebody step on a duck? - Al Czervik after someone farts.
"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line ... in the opposite direction." - Ty Webb
And don't forget the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
"Today must be Thursday ... I could never get the hang of Thursdays" - Arthur Dent on being told that the Vogons are going to demolish the Earth.
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t" - Narrator
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much like the wheel, New York, wars and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man ... for precisely the same reasons."- Narrator on when all the dolphins leave planet Earth.
"Listen, three eyes," he said, "don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal." - Zaphod Beeblebrox
"There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."
"The things you own end up owning you."
"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero"
"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."